The Chronicles of Angry Bob
by TheMostRandomPerson0nEarth
Summary: Angry Bob dies many times.
1. Chapter 1

**THE ADVENTURES OF ANGRY BOB by RAT**

Angry Bob was angry. "I will read a book." Bob said. "Books make people happy."

Bob went to Barnes & Nobles. He picked up a copy of the Hunger Games. He immediately purchased it, and went home to read it.

He couldn't put the book down. He stayed up all night reading it. He bit off his fingernails when the Games began. He cried when Rue died. He cheered when Peeta and Katniss both won. He loved it so much that he attended a convention the next day.

When he walked into the convention, he saw a group of people arguing over which boy Katniss should be with. It was hand-to-hand combat between Team Peeta and Team Gale. Bob instantly got attention to himself. "Folks, please, it does not matter who Katniss is with, as long as we have all read the book that we love, and can't wait until the sequels." Bob soon realized that he shouldnt've stayed up all night reading.

For he might've seen the hardcover book thrown at his head.

Losing his balance, Bob fell, and toppled over the giant case of "Catching Fire" books. Bob got 10,000,000 papercuts and died.

Rat: Never read.

Angry Bob was Angry. "I will go to a movie." Bob said. "Movies make people happy."

Bob went to a movie theater. "Give me one ticket to a random movie." He got the ticket, and heard the ticket guy snickering as he walked away.

"He must've given me a ticket to a good movie." Bob told himself.

Bob went to the concessions stand and bought a pack of Twizzlers. "I am hungry." Bob said.

Bob sat inside Theater 12. He leaned back in his seat, as the movie began. "I will finally be happy." he said.

The THX logo appeared. And the opening credits faded in.

"JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER"

Bob made a handy noose out of the Twizzlers and hung himself.

Rat: Bieber sucks.

Angry Bob was angry. "I will go to the mall and act like Santa." Bob said. "Making little kids happy will make me happy."

Bob applied for the job. As he put on his suit, he was ready to face the day. The kids hopped onto Bob's lap and told them what they wanted for Christmas. Eight hours later, Bob was finally happy.

However, after 10 hours, Bob was tired of sitting, so he stood up for a few seconds.

And a little girl wearing high heels appeared before him.

The girl kicked Bob in the testicles so hard that his pelvis split his skull open.

Bob died. In the worst pain possible.

Rat: And that's why little kids love Santa.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 4: THE ZOO**

Angry Bob was angry. "I will go to the zoo," Bob said. "Going to the zoo makes people happy."

Angry Bob went to the San Diego Zoo. He saw pandas, jaguars, and rhinos. "I really like it here." Bob said.

Bob kept wandering the zoo, when an alarm went off alerting people about an escaped elephant.

An alarm that Bob might've heard had he not had his iPod on full blast.

Bob felt a booming vibration in the floor. Ignoring it, he turned around to see the parrots. He was soon face-to-face with the behemoth.

The elephant crushed Bob like a soft biscuit.

Rat: Always go with an iPhone.

**CHAPTER 5: BOB'S FUNERAL**

Hundreds mourned Bob's death as his casket was being lowered into the grave. Soon, clouds began to form and a heavy rain fell. The gravediggers had not filled the grave.

A bolt of lightning hit a metal rod on Bob's casket. Soon, a rush of electricity charged through Bob's bod.

Bob was reborn.

He opened his casket. Everybody rejoiced, saying it was a miracle.

Then, the same elephant that killed him charged at him again. The volts sent into his bod made it impossible for him to run.

Bob was squished like a tuna in the ground next to a rabid squirrel eating a habanero pepper.

Rat: Never have your funeral where you died.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 6: DINNER THEATRE**

After undying, Bob left his coffin near the zoo and went to Balboa Park. It was Halloween time.

"I can find another way to be happy," Bob said.

While strolling the park, Bob saw a rather large auditorium called "Old Globe Theatre" which was hosting a scary dinner theatre.

"I will go to this dinner theatre" Bob said. "A good Halloween scare will make me happy."

Bob paid his admission and got his dinner. As he was eating, the show began.

And a masked man jumped up and grabbed Bob.

Bob choked on his dinner and died.

Rat: That's why theatre is dead.

**CHAPTER 7: BUYING INSURANCE AND OTHER EXTREME SPORTS**

Bob was tired of dying. After undying, Bob decided to buy insurance.

"If I have insurance, I can get better health benefits." Bob said.

Bob got a $1000 insurance premium from State Farm and relaxed.

The next morning, Bob woke up, and felt as though he would never die.

"This insurance is making me feel invincible!" Bob exclaimed to the state of California.

So to test his theory, Bob signed up for the "XTREME MOTOCROSS-STYLE MOUNTAIN BIKING CHAMPIONSHIPS!"

The morning of, Bob rented his dirt bike and went to the competition.

At the starting line, Bob felt a rush of both hope and adrenalin. About 4 minutes in, there was a massive 11-bike pile-up.

And Bob was the only racer left.

Steering clear of the pile-up, he turned right and knew victory was his.

Until his bike jumped off a rock that worked just like a ramp.

When he landed, both his tires were blown out and the motor was screwed. He couldn't control his bike as it hit a boulder.

Bob went flying out of the bike, happy he bought insurance, but not happy that he would soon die.

Bob fell 12,000 feet, hit the ground and died. His dog collected his insurance premium and ate for life.

Rat: I love happy endings.

**CHAPTER 8: INVENTION**

After Bob's last adventure, Bob got to thinking, "Insurance will not make you immortal," Bob said. "If I want immortality, I must serve my people."

So Bob decided to become an inventor. He went long in thought about something the world needs.

So Bob spent day and night drawing schematics. He found parts for his invention and put them together.

And he had done it.

His invention was a combination of a coffee maker and toaster oven. He tested it by putting in a piece of toast and making a pot of coffee at the same time.

And it caught fire.

Bob quickly grabbed it and looked for something to put it out. But the inferno had already burnt off Bob's hands. He soon regretted not putting a cooling system in his invention.

As his clothes caught fire, his skeleton died.

Rat: And that's why I don't eat toast.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 9: BOB DIES**

Bob died.

That's all I have. Thanks for reading. I am sorry to say that the fanfic is now officially closed. Hope you enjoyed.


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